Read our stories of recovery
I’ve now been clean for five years. My clean date is the 3 March every year.
My life is amazing today; I’m studying a psychology and counselling degree, with long-term career aspirations to become a CBT therapist.
Dave’s story
Addiction
I used drugs for 26 years in one form or another, from the age of 13 to 39. Heroin and crack made up a large percentage of this, in active addiction for 20 years from 19 to 39.
The root causes are multi-faceted, including how I internalised going to boarding school as rejection abandonment, not feeling loved, wanted, or heard, and feeling like I didn’t belong at home or school. I wasn’t prepared for life responsibilities and struggled to manage the feelings attached to these.
Drugs allowed me to escape these issues and not deal with or even acknowledge they were present in my life. Rebellion played a part when I left boarding school, going from such a restrictive environment to one of autonomy that was hard to adjust to.
Lastly, watching my elder brother use drugs, my thoughts were that if it was okay for him, it must also be okay for me.
Recovery
I’ve now been clean for five years. My clean date is the 3 March every year. My life is amazing today; I’m studying a psychology and counselling degree, with long-term career aspirations to become a CBT therapist.
However, I know this would not be possible without the support I had and continue to receive. This support started with a woman in recovery sharing her experience of using and, more importantly, of her life clean. This gave me hope, faith and belief that there actually there is an alternative life to be had. Through her giving me her time when my time came, I knew where to ask for the right help to make that life-changing choice. I went to a 12-step rehab, the same as New Chapters which gave me a safe place and space to detox and start getting to know myself. Without that opportunity, I would not have even started that change. New Chapters is much-needed in the local area of Leamington, as there is no support to the level that New Chapters will provide. I know many people will find a new way to live thanks to this establishment.
Impact
The impact of my addiction had massive implications for myself, my family and society. I was left a physically broken shell of a man, with severe health consequences, hepatitis c, and three blood clots in my legs after injecting into my groin numerous times a day for about 16 years. Emotionally I was simply devoid until the end of my using when the drugs had stopped working; I was depressed and highly suicidal, and death seemed like a better option than the life I was leading. The only interactions I had with humans were with the dealer, the police, the prison staff and my brother. I was out in the dark and didn’t even know it.
My family were left broken, fearful of the knock at the door telling them one of their sons had died and their peace of mind was taken from them.
Society suffered as I was a prolific shoplifter, constantly in and out of the courts, costing society money to prosecute and incarcerate me. Looking back, I cost society thousands upon thousands of pounds that could have been spent elsewhere, not to mention the injecting in public spaces and the inflated prices of goods due to my criminal activity.
Since I've been in recovery I have learnt to drive and brought a car, booked a two-week holiday to the Caribbean and most of all I've regained the trust and rebuilt my relationships with the people who mean the most to me; my daughter, family and friends.
Most of all I feel human again I can honestly say I would not change how my life is now to go back to where I started off at.
Lauren’s story
Addiction
I started using drugs and drinking at the age of 12, smoking weed, not going to school and hanging out with people older than me. I didn’t really see it as I had a problem at this point; I was just in my rebellious teens and trying new stuff. Within the first year or two, I started to try other new things like ecstasy and MDMA and then drinking and drugs became a part of my life, which continued until I was 29 years old.
Looking back now at the root causes, my mum and me never got on my moods, and behaviours were off-key and all over the place. Later in life, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and BPD, which can partly explain why I was the way I was.
Due to my behaviours and how I was, my mum kicked me out at 12 years old, which had a massive effect on me throughout my life constantly feeling like I was going to be left, especially when things got tough, so I developed those core beliefs from a young age.
Impact
My drinking and using affected not only me but also everyone around me: my daughter, my family, my friends, and my 'jobs' (because it cost me a few jobs down the line). My mum was constantly worrying about whether she would get a call to say I was dead because of the situations I put myself in and not knowing where I was half the time. It affected my daughter a lot as she was always at my mum's while I was out partying, and she worried about me too.
I felt like I spiralled. My mental health got worse as I got older. The more I used and drank, the worse I would feel, which ended in me trying to take my life twice as I just didn't want to be here anymore. I felt stuck, and not being able to get out of the path my life had taken, I felt like I was on a hamster wheel.
My friends also suffered a lot from my using because of the person I became when I took drugs or drank. I was like Jekyll and Hyde. I had even more personalities when under the influence; I was mean, nasty, and manipulative and caused everyone around me a lot of pain, both physically and mentally.
Recovery
My life turned around when I reached out for help and actually admitted to myself that there was a problem. My life was so chaotic, and I was sad 99% of the time. I had lost that happy-go-lucky part of me, and it wasn't fun anymore. I was in denial for a lot of years. I thought that's just who I was, and I couldn't change that, but with the support of Yvonne and working within the field that she does and having a history of addiction herself, she helped me to make one of the biggest and by far the best decisions of my life of going into rehab.
Rehab helped me in so many different ways, and the therapy was next to none. CBT is one of the best tools you can use in any part of your life, and I think more people need access to this. That's why I want to become a CBT Therapist to be able to help others in a way I have been helped myself. All that information and stuff that I learnt about our minds, how we think, and how that affects us in all areas is priceless. It's helped me change my life around completely.
Since I've been in recovery, I have learnt to drive and brought a car. I've booked a two-week holiday to the Caribbean, and most of all, I've regained the trust and rebuilt my relationships with the people who mean the most to me - my daughter, family and friends. Most of all, I feel human again. I can honestly say I would not change how my life is now. I've been very lucky to have the amazing support of family, friends, rehab and therapist. If I never had the support of those around me, I know for a fact I would be on a path to destruction, lose my daughter or even worse, end up dead because that is the reality of addiction.
New Chapters
New Chapters are massively needed within the community to help people regain their lives. From the first part of their journey to coming off drugs and alcohol to building them up, giving them the life skills they need, and providing the knowledge and support they need to rebuild their lives. New Chapters will be able to help people live a life that's worth living to them.
Without the help of the rehab, I wouldn't be where I am today, which is just priceless. They can make such a difference in people's lives that it will benefit the community long-term if people had the help and support needed to do that.
A parent’s story
I was almost 40 when I realised my sons were both heavily into drug use.
I initially was afraid for their health and safety also for their future as regards career and normal development of life. When it slowly became clear to me they were into drugs for life, I went back to being frightened for their lives only. I was afraid they would die.
Blame
I blamed myself entirely for their drug use but didn't know why they felt they had to follow this path. Whatever I said to them, they reassured me they could control their drug use - it was clear to me this was plainly not the case, but they wouldn't hear me, and I felt useless and a failure as a mother to them.
The impact on my life was immense. It put my marriage under tremendous strain. I blamed my husband partly for my son's drug use. Home life was miserable.
I felt I was trying to support my boys, but they didn't want this. I also felt I was supporting my husband and daughter. I felt no one was there helping me in that supportive role or there to support me. Neighbours started to ignore me; some said snide things like, "I bet you never want to see your boys again."
Impact
I became severely depressed and ended up on large doses of anti-depressants. My anxiety levels were very high. I threw myself into work. This enabled me to push all thoughts of them out of my day during work hours. This is what I had to do to get through the day. At night I’d lie awake worrying, and eventually, I’d fall asleep and dream about one or other of them. It was mostly about them dying or their funeral. So real, so clear. I would never answer my front door. I would always ask my husband to do this as I just waited for the police to knock with bad news.
Rescued
Thankfully they were rescued and are clean these days, and I believe for life. They have worked hard on themselves- they are now what I always knew good, honest, well-rounded and kind people. I believe this is how we raised them, and now it shows. I’m so happy that they have reclaimed their lives from drugs.
It was hard to trust them again in the house at first as we had suffered from some of the things they did at home over the years. I trust them now so do my husband and daughter. We three all try to show them this.
These days they constantly show us love and appreciation, and we try to show that back. So at long last, in later life, we have peace of mind. We know now that my three children will be there for each other whatever may happen to us. I thank God all the time for all the help they have received and for giving us a nice life again.
New Chapters
We, as families, are desperate for a well-advertised rehabilitation in the Warwick and Leamington Spa area. We need people who are addicts to have hope and running alongside that, an information service and meetings where families can go.