My name is Daniel, I am 39 years old and a former resident of New Chapters. I am also a grateful addict in recovery which I never thought was possible.

I came from a stable home and was reasonably well educated but fell into drugs at the aged of 13 smoking weed and drinking. Little did know at the time that the simple choices I was making in this period of my life would lead on to 20 year addiction to all substances and alcohol.

In my early 20’s I was already drinking everyday and using cocaine and amphetamines every weekend, everything seemed manageable. I had a good job with a career path planned out for me, I was in a long term relationship and had normal plans for my future as anyone would in early life. I first started to notice issues with my drinking in my in 20’s when drinking everyday after work wasn’t enough and I need a drink in mornings to stop shaking, I had also started taking drugs at work to counteract the sedation the alcohol caused. This carried on right until my early 30’s. I had now got engaged to my girlfriend and we were planning our future together, I kept all my using and the level of dependants hidden, not just from my partner, but from everyone who knew me. My behaviour began to become erratic as I moved from job to job always being sacked for using drugs or drinking.

I had every intention to be clean for my wedding day and would of passed any lie detector test if asked that question, but as time went on and the wedding day got closer I began to use more. On the actual day of my wedding I had been up for 2 days and turned up drunk and continued to use despite every fibre of me not wanting to. After my marriage my wife fell pregnant and again I promised my self to be clean when the baby arrived. But my disease had other plans, not only did I carry on using but my drug of choice had changed from alcohol and uppers to holdall and heroine.

One of my biggest regrets in life is that when my daughter was being born I was suffering from heroine withdrawals and wasn’t in any fit state to actually be present for my new born or my partner. My wife and I eventually separated as my disease of addiction continued to get worse. I now had a long criminal record ranging from theft to possession with intent to supply. no job and was asked to leave the family home to which I agreed leaving me homeless. Before I knew it another 8 years had past and my disease had now taken everything from me, I was begging on the streets, moving from sofa to sofa and had lost all sense of reality. The only days I didn’t use was when I would be taken to hospital in critical condition only to be let out and be using again with in the hour. The torment I was causing my family, whatever friends I had left and my daughter meant nothing to me. My head told me I needed to use and to forget everyone and everything else.

After 14 detoxes all leaving me psychological scared, being placed on denial of liberty orders due to bouts of delusion and paranoia. I was told I had 3 months to live and things had to change I had chronic liver cirrhosis, my kidneys had all but stopped working, I had a condition that had destroyed part of my brain and also was bright yellow from finger nails to eyes as my body gave up. Things didn’t change though and 3 months after this warning I was back in hospital being read my last rights. I came around and accepted the fact I wasn’t going to see my next birthday and all hope was gone.