Angela’s Story
Angela
“With the patience of the staff, I am learning to identify my emotions instead of running from them, I have developed healthier ways of coping and have learned the importance of asking for help.“
I first went into treatment in 2006 aged 29. I started misusing substances from the age of 13 and by the time I was 22 I was addicted to Heroin and Crack Cocaine, over the next 20 years, I was in and out of treatment centres 6 in total, desperately wanting recovery but never managing to stay clean, I’d leave rehab full of hope but then would always relapse soon afterwards. I could never stay abstinent from drugs and every relapse that followed just reinforced that I would never get clean, that I was a failure, and I simply chose drugs above everyone and everything else, including my 2 children who were taken into care aged 5 and 7 months.
I believed that I would die from my using, and any thoughts of a future had long gone. My using has taken me to places I would never have imagined, and my addiction stripped me of my morals and any self respect that I had left.
New Chapters
In July 2024 I was one of the first residents to walk through the door of New Chapters. I came in very broken, emotionally damaged, and found it hard to trust myself or others. I had little belief that lasting recovery was possible for someone like me.
Years of addiction had left me finding it hard to identify or express how I was feeling because I had spent so many years using drugs to numb every emotion, I struggled to engage because I simply did not know how to talk about what was going on inside of me.
For the first time though, at New Chapters I wasn’t just encouraged to stop using drugs. I was taught to look inward and understand myself. I learned about the disease of addiction, and was taught to recognise my thinking, my behaviours and my emotional patterns that had kept me trapped in a vicious circle for so many years.
With the patience of the staff, I am learning to identify my emotions instead of running from them, I have developed healthier ways of coping and have learned the importance of asking for help.
“I have built genuine friendships in New Chapters and have learned to trust again. Also I’ve begun to find my voice, and am gaining confidence daily.”
The biggest difference between New Chapters and all of the other treatment centres I have been to, is that recovery here has been much more than simply stopping drugs.
Focusing solely on faith alone, did not get me clean, at New Chapters I’ve learned that recovery means changing from the inside out, and to take responsibility for my recovery and to build a life to look forward to because I deserve it.
Although my two children are not currently part of my life today, I no longer have to live in self pity or despair.
I have hope that one day they will see the changes I have made and we may have the opportunity to repair the relationships once again.
Today I volunteer as a stage 2 resident in New Chapters. I have a genuine heart for the addict, and understand the fear hopelessness and shame that addiction brings because I have lived it myself, being able to encourage others who are at the beginning of their journey is a privilege and a reminder of how far I have come as well.